tamaranth | Life in Mono

I had ear problems as a child, but back then I don't think partial deafness felt so important. (Children's hearing is better, yes? Maybe I was starting from a higher level of functionality.) One positive benefit of this is that, assuming my experience isn't out of the ordinary, I'm beginning to understand (and sympathise with, and work out how I might minimise my own contribution to) the problems faced by those with more permanent hearing difficulties.

I am several days into complete deafness in one ear and partial in the other. My directional hearing is shot: I can't work out where sounds are coming from. (Thought this might be a problem driving, but I rely much more on visual cues than auditory ones.) Music on the car stereo today sounded weird, and somewhat off-key, because I wasn't hearing much on the right-hand channel. Picking out a single voice in a busy room -- something I am finding increasingly difficult in general, as I get older -- was much harder than usual. I suspect my speech is also affected: I have a fairly soft voice and I'm not necessarily aware of how loudly I'm speaking.

My right ear is full of crackling, white noise, my heartbeat etc: this is sometimes loud enough to drown out external noise. I suspect I'm actually getting some auditory hallucinations (that can't possibly be the right word) -- peculiar rhythmic noises like drums (not my heart / pulse), bursts of music. The little voices aren't talking to me though. YET.

I can't wear headphones at the moment (quite aside from the hearing issue, my right ear objects to objects.) This means no walking-with-music, and watching TV on the laptop with lopsided sound.

Today I went to a spa with

ladymoonray, had a facial massage and did a bit of swimming (but not a lot, because (a) medical advice say NO (b) I was feeling badly off-balance in the water). For the rest of the day my right ear has been cutting in and out, like a poorly-wired headset. Most distracting.

Still hurts. GP Thursday.

In other news, that is not a rash on my stomach, because the little red marks come in groups of five, almost as though a small(ish) but determined forelimb, with very sharp nails, has been tapping me insistently. But surely I would have noti -- oh, hello,