Life in Mono

[tamaranth]

I had ear problems as a child, but back then I don't think partial deafness felt so important. (Children's hearing is better, yes? Maybe I was starting from a higher level of functionality.) One positive benefit of this is that, assuming my experience isn't out of the ordinary, I'm beginning to understand (and sympathise with, and work out how I might minimise my own contribution to) the problems faced by those with more permanent hearing difficulties.

I am several days into complete deafness in one ear and partial in the other. My directional hearing is shot: I can't work out where sounds are coming from. (Thought this might be a problem driving, but I rely much more on visual cues than auditory ones.) Music on the car stereo today sounded weird, and somewhat off-key, because I wasn't hearing much on the right-hand channel. Picking out a single voice in a busy room -- something I am finding increasingly difficult in general, as I get older -- was much harder than usual. I suspect my speech is also affected: I have a fairly soft voice and I'm not necessarily aware of how loudly I'm speaking.

My right ear is full of crackling, white noise, my heartbeat etc: this is sometimes loud enough to drown out external noise. I suspect I'm actually getting some auditory hallucinations (that can't possibly be the right word) -- peculiar rhythmic noises like drums (not my heart / pulse), bursts of music. The little voices aren't talking to me though. YET.

I can't wear headphones at the moment (quite aside from the hearing issue, my right ear objects to objects.) This means no walking-with-music, and watching TV on the laptop with lopsided sound.

Today I went to a spa with ladymoonray, had a facial massage and did a bit of swimming (but not a lot, because (a) medical advice say NO (b) I was feeling badly off-balance in the water). For the rest of the day my right ear has been cutting in and out, like a poorly-wired headset. Most distracting.

Still hurts. GP Thursday.

In other news, that is not a rash on my stomach, because the little red marks come in groups of five, almost as though a small(ish) but determined forelimb, with very sharp nails, has been tapping me insistently. But surely I would have noti -- oh, hello, ozymandias_cat!

Comments

[lj_stowaway]

Wow, that sounds terrible! Hope things improve *soon*. {{{hugs}}}

(and the not!rash made me giggle. HAI CAT.)

[d-floorlandmine.livejournal.com]

the not!rash made me giggle. HAI CAT.
[snork] Yep, me too.

[marypcb.livejournal.com]

when I get a minor blockage - usually water or maybe a flake of wax, nothing to compare with your Inner Monster - I tuck cotton wool into that ear, often with a dab of olbas oil on, to block the whoosh swoosh and sense of dullness (at least there's a reason I can feel to be half-deaf in the ear). no idea if that would help at all but wanted to mention...

[glensc.livejournal.com]

I saw this looking at a friend's friends list, being as I had a number of hearing problems, as a child, it kinda jumped out at me.

I think that it didn't feel so important as a child was as much not knowing what was missing, as anything else. In my case I just thought eveyone else somehow magically knew things I didn't, having had little idea that we'd all just been told or asked something.

Anyway the main reason I decided to post was to suggest maybe some frequency weighted background noise, such as often used to help tinitus, as a gentle sort of auditory massagery.
Something like http://www.rainymood.com/ might help things feel a bit better.

[d-floorlandmine.livejournal.com]

Ooh, thanks for that link - I know several people who've been wanting that sound. (Although it's tipping down outside at the moment, so nature's providing it.)

[del-c.livejournal.com]

"Auditory hallucinations" is exactly what they're called: it's the third suggestion in Google for "auditory". You can call it "paracusia" if you want to be fancy, but I don't know anyone who does.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

Deafness is hellish. Roll on Thursday.