Just Say No

[tamaranth]

Right now I have a strong urge to say "no". Scream "no", with extreme violence, at all the things that have irritated or upset me in the past couple of days.

A selection:

• stupid nervous system (inability to read proper books for more than about 20 minutes without a random assortment of facial muscles attempting to semaphore what I've read to one another).
  
• stupid tax office (my 'erroneous tax refund' turning out to be a genuine one after all, which means the last two months of fretting about money could have been avoided).
  
• stupid bodyclock (unnatural inability to sleep past 6am ... slept until 7am once in the last three weeks).
  
• stupid inability to admit even to myself how bothered I was by the events of weekend. However, stayed online for four hours after getting home, and drank nearly a bottle of wine: applaud actions of subconscious in seeking [a] communication and [b] oblivion.
  
• stupid colleagues. Stupid job. Stupid crowds. Stupid orcs.
  
• stupid tendency to whine

In other news, Smoking Kills. That is, I will claw my own eyes out if the seven-day syndrome doesn't go away. Despite not having had a cigarette for nearly three months, and not wanting one as they are evil, addictive and no fun, I get classic withdrawal symptoms for a day or so, one week after overexposure to cigarette smoke.

Irritable? Weepy? Depressed? Sore throat? ... I had to think quite hard about where I was last Wednesday, until I realised the answer was 'In the pub with smokers around'.

Stuff this. I don't want to have to avoid smokers. Nor do I want to have to stifle the urge to push them under buses. [Applies only to strangers, usually.] I want to remain serenely unaffected by their habit.

[edit - however, I'm fairly sure that nicotine is only to blame for a subset of the things I've whined about]

Stupid nicotine.

Comments

[tamaranth.livejournal.com]

Thanks for good wishes, which do definitely help.

What I don't get is, why seven days? I haven't especally craved nicotine until today - though did realise it was why I was getting weepy yesterday. Other women have Hormones.

Stupid nicotine.