Just Say No

[tamaranth]

Right now I have a strong urge to say "no". Scream "no", with extreme violence, at all the things that have irritated or upset me in the past couple of days.

A selection:

• stupid nervous system (inability to read proper books for more than about 20 minutes without a random assortment of facial muscles attempting to semaphore what I've read to one another).
  
• stupid tax office (my 'erroneous tax refund' turning out to be a genuine one after all, which means the last two months of fretting about money could have been avoided).
  
• stupid bodyclock (unnatural inability to sleep past 6am ... slept until 7am once in the last three weeks).
  
• stupid inability to admit even to myself how bothered I was by the events of weekend. However, stayed online for four hours after getting home, and drank nearly a bottle of wine: applaud actions of subconscious in seeking [a] communication and [b] oblivion.
  
• stupid colleagues. Stupid job. Stupid crowds. Stupid orcs.
  
• stupid tendency to whine

In other news, Smoking Kills. That is, I will claw my own eyes out if the seven-day syndrome doesn't go away. Despite not having had a cigarette for nearly three months, and not wanting one as they are evil, addictive and no fun, I get classic withdrawal symptoms for a day or so, one week after overexposure to cigarette smoke.

Irritable? Weepy? Depressed? Sore throat? ... I had to think quite hard about where I was last Wednesday, until I realised the answer was 'In the pub with smokers around'.

Stuff this. I don't want to have to avoid smokers. Nor do I want to have to stifle the urge to push them under buses. [Applies only to strangers, usually.] I want to remain serenely unaffected by their habit.

[edit - however, I'm fairly sure that nicotine is only to blame for a subset of the things I've whined about]

Stupid nicotine.

Comments

[swisstone.livejournal.com]

{{{hugs}}}

Not much else to be said. (Except that I am finding more and more that when I come home from the pub, my clothes reek of cigarette smoke and have to be washed. It's even permeated my leather jacker, which is bad. Maybe I'm spending more time than I used to in the company of heavy smokers.)

[rakshi.livejournal.com]

stupid inability to admit even to myself how bothered I was by the events of weekend.

Did you really think you had to? The people who care about you knew.. and tried to send you healing.

To detox:
Vitamin E: 400 to 800 IUs a day.
Selenium: 200 micrograms a day.
Mixed carotenes: 25,000 IUs a day.

This really works and will help enormously. Drink more water!

To me.. this detox stuff works just as well when we need to mentally or emotionally detox. I think you're tapping back into your need for cigs because you need to detox from last weekend.

Toxic. You need to cleanse, cleanse, cleanse.

I'll be sending Light...

[tamaranth.livejournal.com]

Thanks for good wishes, which do definitely help.

What I don't get is, why seven days? I haven't especally craved nicotine until today - though did realise it was why I was getting weepy yesterday. Other women have Hormones.

Stupid nicotine.