[film] Clash of the Titans (3D)

[tamaranth]

Possibly the worst film I have ever paid to see.

I have fond memories of the 1981 original, which I believe was the first film I ever paid money (of my own) to see. But I'm sure it made more sense than this empty extravaganza. (I'm not sure if myth and legend was quite so egregiously mangled in the original, either. Medusa as a lamia? A Kraken in ancient Greece? Djinn? Io? AAARGHHEADXPLODE)

Spent quite a bit of this either with hand glued to forehead in dramatic OMG moments, or trying not to giggle, often for reasons geographical. (Kudos to la_marquise_de_ for identifying the exact slate quarry in North Wales where Medusa made her lair.)

There are some positive things:
- Ralph Fiennes was splendid fun as Hades
- Liam Neeson kept a straight face, despite considerable provocation from the script
- the score was pretty good for Epic Fantasy Set In Age of Legend^TM, especially the bit with the scorpions.
- er ...
- ... that's it.

Just because something can be remade doesn't mean it should be. And just because something can be portrayed in glorious 3D technicolor, with tentacles, doesn't mean it should be, either.

Edit to add: ah, that's what was nagging at me ...
From badger (via Google): Oh, and the clockwork mechanical owl from the 1981 Harryhausen original film shows up in the remake - FOR EXACTLY ONE SCENE. Sam Worthington pulls it out of a chest while packing for the trip and asks "What is this?" as the clockwork owl's wings flap its eyes move. One of the soldiers says "Put that back - we won't need it" WHICH PRETTY MUCH SUMS UP THE APPARENT ATTITUDE OF THE PRODUCERS OF THE REMAKE TO THE ORIGINAL MOVIE AND MOST OF THE GREEK MYTH SOURCE MATERIAL IN GENERAL.
*applause*

Comments

[easterbunny.livejournal.com]

Liam Neeson kept a straight face, despite considerable provocation from the script

Best review copy evar.

[(Anonymous)]

Possibly the worst film you;ve ever paid to see? Bloody hell! Mind you, I've paid to see:

Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (in 3d, which probably says something)
The Avengers (which was really, really terrible)
The Matrix Revolutions (a big pile of WTF bollocks)

[moral-vacuum.livejournal.com]

That was me - not sure what happened there.

[stevegreen.livejournal.com]

I'm due to see the 2D version this week. Should be a laff.

[woolymonkey.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Spider and his mates were so unimpressed that Squirrel decided not to bother. And Spider only saw it to be nice to the friend who looks too young to get into Kick Ass. (They are all too young, but only one of them looks too young.)
Mind you, after reading your write up, I kinda want to see it for the laffs...

[ajshepherd.livejournal.com]

Liam Neeson kept a straight face, despite considerable provocation from the script

But he was in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, so has had practise...!

[ivory-goddess.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure if myth and legend was quite so egregiously mangled in the original

Well there was defo a Kraken in the original.


The fact that they couldn't even get the 'cameo appearance from the previous film' right would make me inclined to believe that the remake was rubbish (the mechanical owl is categorically the one reference they should not be making to the original, as the mechanical owl was utter crap!)

[lil-shepherd.livejournal.com]

I loathed the original for its mangling of Greek myth (and the cute robot owl.) I had no intention of seeing this one. Seems I was right.

[asynje.livejournal.com]

I considered seeing this for patriotic reasons (Mads Mikkelsen) but decided against it as bad mythology gives me hives.

Also, it would necessitate planning re: small human and that just seemed like too much bother.

[anef.livejournal.com]

You watch these so we don't have to...