making sense

[tamaranth]

struggling with these 'word' thingies. Does the following make sense? Or is my metaphor a bit too elliptical?

"though many of these stories have a twist or two, there's more to them than trickery and sleight of hand. [a particular story] pulls a rabbit worthy of Asimov out of a story about [subject] ..."

[EDIT for clarity] (the para continues, in summary, "but there's more to it than that")

Comments

[fjm.livejournal.com]

You have a category mistake: you can't say "there's more than trickery and sleight of hand" and then follow that with a metaphor which is precisely an example of trickery and sleight of hand.

Better perhaps to say: many of these stories have a twist or two, handled with the flourish required by the best of trickery and sleight of hand. [a particular story] pulls a rabbit worthy of Asimov out of a story about [subject] ..."

[tamaranth.livejournal.com]

should probably have quoted more (the para continues, in summary, "but there's more to it than that"): it was more an enquiry about pulling a rabbit out of a story!

However, your phrasing is nicer than mine, so I'll revise ...

[fjm.livejournal.com]

Oh, I understood that, but seriously, you were contradicting yourself.

[bugshaw.livejournal.com]

I would pull a rabbit worthy of Asimov out of a hat of [subject] but I do databases for a living :-)

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

It makes perfect sense to me.