[film] Clash of the Titans (3D)

Possibly the worst film I have ever paid to see.

I have fond memories of the 1981 original, which I believe was the first film I ever paid money (of my own) to see. But I'm sure it made more sense than this empty extravaganza. (I'm not sure if myth and legend was quite so egregiously mangled in the original, either. Medusa as a lamia? A Kraken in ancient Greece? Djinn? Io? AAARGHHEADXPLODE)

Spent quite a bit of this either with hand glued to forehead in dramatic OMG moments, or trying not to giggle, often for reasons geographical. (Kudos to la_marquise_de_ for identifying the exact slate quarry in North Wales where Medusa made her lair.)

There are some positive things:
- Ralph Fiennes was splendid fun as Hades
- Liam Neeson kept a straight face, despite considerable provocation from the script
- the score was pretty good for Epic Fantasy Set In Age of Legend^TM, especially the bit with the scorpions.
- er ...
- ... that's it.

Just because something can be remade doesn't mean it should be. And just because something can be portrayed in glorious 3D technicolor, with tentacles, doesn't mean it should be, either.

Edit to add: ah, that's what was nagging at me ...
From badger (via Google): Oh, and the clockwork mechanical owl from the 1981 Harryhausen original film shows up in the remake - FOR EXACTLY ONE SCENE. Sam Worthington pulls it out of a chest while packing for the trip and asks "What is this?" as the clockwork owl's wings flap its eyes move. One of the soldiers says "Put that back - we won't need it" WHICH PRETTY MUCH SUMS UP THE APPARENT ATTITUDE OF THE PRODUCERS OF THE REMAKE TO THE ORIGINAL MOVIE AND MOST OF THE GREEK MYTH SOURCE MATERIAL IN GENERAL.
*applause*