Wanted: Plumbing 'Expertise'

I need plumbing 'expertise', by which I mean someone authoritative who knows more about leaking pipes than I do. This is not hard. (And I have asked Noel but he's busy ...) Am prepared to get a plumber if I must, but really can't afford it so would prefer not to!

( can you help? )

Much More Cheerful

Who says this LJ thing is frivolous, then? Am extremely grateful for prompt, helpful comments on my 'Help! Flood!' post -- have limited damage and feel all Empowered.

Also much amused by this email from a Friend:

"In other news, I was forced to read the first half of a book by someone called China Mieville last week. ... Faced with a huge choice, I chose a book based ENTIRELY on what you said about the author, which had NOTHING to do with the way he wrote. Was actually quite surprised to find he can write, and now may need to actually purchase the book at lunchtime today."

Let that be a lesson to all authors. Looks do count.