Forget and Let Go

[tamaranth]

I have been thinking about the past, and how to move on, a lot recently. (May be summarised as 'not all bad decisions are stupid mistakes. Most were not even bad at the time.')

So this image, by tiny_vice via andrewducker, hit the spot.


And then not an hour later I was reading some Biblical commentary [for a Good Reason: don't ask] and came across this:

In his book The Great Divorce, C.S. Lewis described hell as a place where no one forgets anything, remembering every slight, every cruel exchange of words, every wrong ever done to them, and everybody is utterly unforgiving.

Why, this is hell: but the way out is clearer.

In other news, just had a nice walk in the snow, and saw:
- anef, plus one cat (the other two being in High Dudgeon)
- a lady skiiing down Coleridge Rd
- the very special local illuminations

Comments

[moral-vacuum.livejournal.com]

a place where no one forgets anything, remembering every slight, every cruel exchange of words, every wrong ever done to them, and everybody is utterly unforgiving.

So in other words, LiveJournal.

[tamaranth.livejournal.com]

Verily you are Wise. And Accurate.

[dorispossum.livejournal.com]

Radegund road would be fab for skiing!

[marypcb.livejournal.com]

I can forgive Lewis his every concealed and denied Christian allegory, his every religious rapture, for the delight of his writing and the depth of his knowledge of human nature; Surprised by Joy and the Screwtape Letters require no religion to enjoy IMO (especially if you have the inner translator I developed around the age of 14 that turns religious phrasings into humanist ones; I parse the Westminster Catechism as 'man's chief end is to enjoy the world and be happy')

[surliminal.livejournal.com]

Strangely given how many objectively bad decisions I have made in the past I spend surprisingly little time thinking about them. OTOH I am often pretty unhappy with "the now". Perhaps that's just a different way of doing the same thing..?

[ladymoonray.livejournal.com]

Yes, I think that might be right. I try really hard not to have regrets about things I've done (it doesn't work so well with things other people have done, but it's less silly to regret those because I didn't have control over them), but then I end up feeling unhappy about what I'm doing *now*. Especially when I'm at work, unsurprisingly.

[tamaranth.livejournal.com]

I'm getting better at forgiving myself for past mistakes: now I'm also trying to address the grudge-holding bitter'n'twisted elements of my psychology. Because where I am now is the product of my past, but where I go next is the product of NOW.

tl:dr -- letting go of bad memories.

[tamaranth.livejournal.com]

I agree, there's no point regretting other people's behaviour: but what I find hard (and am trying to get better at) is letting go of my own negative reactions to it. I'm still working on some of the interactions with my mother, so it's going to be a while before I tick this one off!

[tamaranth.livejournal.com]

Absolutely agree re inner religion-to-humanism translator! I hadn't encountered The Great Divorce before, will note it for further ref.

[tamaranth.livejournal.com]

ooops, hit enter too soon, but have already written the rest in comment to surliminal: that the past is what got us where we are today, but it doesn't have to be what gets us where we're going to be tomorrow.

By which I don't mean 'stuck on a train in the snow'. Not necessarily, anyway.

Hmm, you seem to have got a more elegant version of the comment!