Random Mad Person [not necessarily me]
Tuesday, November 19th, 2002 12:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tamaranthThis is all very horrid: I'm a nervous wreck.
I went to see a friend this evening. Walking along a lit London street, 5:30 pm: Walkman on, low enough for me to hear footsteps, high enough to have distraction and amusement. There was a man walking about ten feet in front of me. He stopped abruptly. I went past him and he started yelling at me and waving his arms. ("Don't you fucking walk past me!")
I asked him what the problem was.
More indistinct yelling and wordless roaring. He'd walked a bit further up the road, into the shadows between streetlights, and stopped again. He was looking back towards me.
Decided he was waiting. Was scared. Cried (like a girl, but have excuse of being female).
By now a couple of security guards, alerted by the noise, had come up from the building site I'd just walked past. I explained that it was probably nothing but I was mugged a few days ago and was very nervous of, well, everything actually. Would one of them mind walking me to the end of the street and waiting until my friend came to meet me? [FX: Rang friend].
Nice security guard walked me to end of street, was reassuring: yes, there are some strange people about, no, I'm not being stupid, but women walking alone should keep to main roads etc. (I pointed out that main road was no better lit and also was not on my way. And it was, for heaven's sake, not even 6pm)
We chatted in desultory manner. I suggested that I have 'victim' engraved in my manner, despite jaunty Walkman-powered walk etc. I do think I probably flinched as soon as The Man started seeming at all threatening, despite being pretty confident that walking along that street, so early and busy, was much safer than (say) Brookmill Rd in Lewisham. I don't know - maybe I am giving bad signals now. I think I'd probably have laughed the incident off if it had happened a week ago.
Ah well.
Friend arrived, was comforting, swept me off for fun evening of pizza, Kir and extended Fellowship of the Ring DVD. And walked me to tube afterwards, 'because it'd make me feel better'. Me too, so thanks!
Was nervous wreck on train.
Someone followed me from the train. Turned out this is because he lives in the same building as me. I slammed the door in his face anyway, on principle. (I didn't recognise him and decided that he'd have a key if he did live here. Will abase self next time I meet him.)
May hibernate and take up photosynthesis, and not come out until spring.
This is all very horrid. I hate being scared. I can't run my life like this.
Thanks to everyone for good advice. A couple of things: I don't have insurance because the premiums here are so expensive. I have an ISA which costs about the same per month, and which I will terminate and use if I ever get burgled and need to replace stuff. Replacement cost vis-a-vis mugging is low (mainly thanks to friends - thanks!), apart from peace of mind which is not available from local retailers. And re self-defense ... well, I do tai chi ... but I suspect the only form of defense against six determined teenagers is spontaneous human combustion. Will practice.
But thank you for caring. It does mean a lot.
[NB edited to relate this evening's exciting episode in past tense. It's what they recommend with other stuff you want to get past, e.g. smoking, so I don't see why it wouldn't work with this. Oh, and to correct my appalling HTML-ising, grammar and imperfect re-tensing.]
I went to see a friend this evening. Walking along a lit London street, 5:30 pm: Walkman on, low enough for me to hear footsteps, high enough to have distraction and amusement. There was a man walking about ten feet in front of me. He stopped abruptly. I went past him and he started yelling at me and waving his arms. ("Don't you fucking walk past me!")
I asked him what the problem was.
More indistinct yelling and wordless roaring. He'd walked a bit further up the road, into the shadows between streetlights, and stopped again. He was looking back towards me.
Decided he was waiting. Was scared. Cried (like a girl, but have excuse of being female).
By now a couple of security guards, alerted by the noise, had come up from the building site I'd just walked past. I explained that it was probably nothing but I was mugged a few days ago and was very nervous of, well, everything actually. Would one of them mind walking me to the end of the street and waiting until my friend came to meet me? [FX: Rang friend].
Nice security guard walked me to end of street, was reassuring: yes, there are some strange people about, no, I'm not being stupid, but women walking alone should keep to main roads etc. (I pointed out that main road was no better lit and also was not on my way. And it was, for heaven's sake, not even 6pm)
We chatted in desultory manner. I suggested that I have 'victim' engraved in my manner, despite jaunty Walkman-powered walk etc. I do think I probably flinched as soon as The Man started seeming at all threatening, despite being pretty confident that walking along that street, so early and busy, was much safer than (say) Brookmill Rd in Lewisham. I don't know - maybe I am giving bad signals now. I think I'd probably have laughed the incident off if it had happened a week ago.
Ah well.
Friend arrived, was comforting, swept me off for fun evening of pizza, Kir and extended Fellowship of the Ring DVD. And walked me to tube afterwards, 'because it'd make me feel better'. Me too, so thanks!
Was nervous wreck on train.
Someone followed me from the train. Turned out this is because he lives in the same building as me. I slammed the door in his face anyway, on principle. (I didn't recognise him and decided that he'd have a key if he did live here. Will abase self next time I meet him.)
May hibernate and take up photosynthesis, and not come out until spring.
This is all very horrid. I hate being scared. I can't run my life like this.
Thanks to everyone for good advice. A couple of things: I don't have insurance because the premiums here are so expensive. I have an ISA which costs about the same per month, and which I will terminate and use if I ever get burgled and need to replace stuff. Replacement cost vis-a-vis mugging is low (mainly thanks to friends - thanks!), apart from peace of mind which is not available from local retailers. And re self-defense ... well, I do tai chi ... but I suspect the only form of defense against six determined teenagers is spontaneous human combustion. Will practice.
But thank you for caring. It does mean a lot.
[NB edited to relate this evening's exciting episode in past tense. It's what they recommend with other stuff you want to get past, e.g. smoking, so I don't see why it wouldn't work with this. Oh, and to correct my appalling HTML-ising, grammar and imperfect re-tensing.]
