Technology Fail: You Can Help!

[sent home from jury service til afternoon session, so am availing myself of the lovely bugshaw's laptop, on which she has set me up.]

Okay: dead laptop, dead PDA, slow and grudgeful EEE ...

1. I am going to uninstall Windoze on the EEE, and (re)install Linux. I have external drives aplenty but no CD drive. Can anyone point me at an easy how-to (especially, at what stage do I remove Windoze and how?) BEER for any Cambridge person who's prepared to do this for me, ideally in the next few days!

2. If anyone has a Palm T3/T5/TX that they would like to sell me for £30 or less, speak now!

3. Am about to phone Dell and see if there is an alternative to on-site service -- otherwise I'll have to pend laptop until after jury service.

Thanks in advance!